Life and Food Porn.


“Turn the light off, bring the night on.”
June 30, 2009, 12:59 pm
Filed under: Daily | Tags:

I'm protesting nuclear showers, for the record.

I'm protesting nuclear showers, for the record.

Any other day, I’d welcome the frigid weather. In fact, I’d revel in it, considering my heritage and history with cold weather. However, I must inform my dear readers that our poor protagonist’s body does not do so well in regards to drastic and sudden temperature changes in his daily routine.

After suffering through a nasty migrane this morning, I headed down to my shower. Looking in the mirror and finding myself slightly fuzzier than normal, I did what most guys would do, left it for later. Ridden with guilt while brushing my teeth, I declared to myself (yes, actually declared out loud with a mouth full of toothpaste. Wasn’t a pretty picture) that I should shave, simply to look more professional. It’s not a big deal, but when your getting ready in the morning and it suddenly dawns on you that you don’t have as much time as you thought you had to accomplish said tasks, things (needless to say.) get rushed. Anyways, after a nice hot shave, I found myself grasping for time, and decided to get my shower quickly on. I could not have picked a worse off moment to hop into the shower. Without realizing the sound of the plumbing in the house yet, and standing under what I thought was a modestly heated shower, I was suddenly enveloped in a bath of scalding hot molten lava.

Question: Have you ever tried to jump out of the way of something in a slick environment? Maybe you have, but have you tried to avoid something skin-meltingly-hot at the same time, whilst jumping though said slippery environment? It’s usually not a solid plan, for the record.

Having almost taken myself  out by executing the stellar implementation of my classic move”single-man collision with the cement wall” I, without thinking, had inadvertently leapt backwards yet again through the nuclear shower. I have accomplished four things this morning, for the record.

  1. Brushed my teeth. (Hooray!)
  2. Shaved.
  3. Scalded myself. (not once, but twice, mind you.)
  4. Thrown my body headlong into the cement wall. Probably left some brain cells on it.

This morning has not been kind to Odin.

But Turk does try and cheer me up from time to time.

But Turk does try and cheer me up from time to time.

July 1st Update: I’m writing this with one hand. Just thought you all should know.

Slipped on sandal this morning on our front porch, and trying not to fall on my already slightly broken left wrist, I tried to compensate with my right palm. I promptly skinned the entirety of my palm. Ow. In hurting my RIGHT wrist, I (without thinking.) used my left hand to stay the course of stopping my fall down these five dreaded cement steps. Bad idea. In summation, I have promptly re-hurt my already recovering left wrist as well as crippled my right hand. The only things I need for fixing computers, I have successfully destroyed.

I am so seething mad at myself right now I can practically taste it. I wanted to go to the gym bad. (Not like that’s a difference from any other day. Especially today though.)

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2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

I want a unicorn.

Comment by Jen

So, just as you start to feel old the teenage clumsies visit to remind you that you are not. Aren’t the 20’s interesting?

Comment by Unca J




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