Life and Food Porn.

Now that I have your sparkling attention, I’m doing to bludgeon you with a plethora of knowledge. Ya’ll gonna get learned good, ya’ dig? Thought so.

Currently checking out the housing situation for the summer. It looks pretty sweet with the deal’s we’ve got going down. I’m going to be staying for graduation, since I have many friends in the 2009 class I’d like to see off proper. (See Note.) As a general rule, when one tries to celebrate, it is a good idea to bring something. I intend on bringing funk to this graduation celebration! (complete with inebriation, how do you like that connotation?)

Man, I better stop before I hurt some…thing.

I have come to the stunning conclusion that school, is in fact, weak. By weak, I mean super hella-lame and I have checked out mentally from my studies the moment I have arrived on campus grounds. Needless to say, this hasn’t stopped my maniac work ethic. I’m still working like a dog. Long nights in the photo lab, library, and desk with my computer on for long hours. However, my good associate Elaine brought up the idea of how teachers have developed one of the most assanine mentalities in the history of simple logic. I am referring to this ridiculous notion that having huge projects after experiencing the ‘peeping-tom’ of summer vacations. (By ‘peeping-tom’ of summer vacations, I am specifically referencing Spring break, mind you.) Teachers actually believe that dishing out tons of work after spring break is a ‘good idea.’ This is beside the fact that many professors expect some of your most stunning and polished work after this entire brigade of bullocks called “Spring break”. Let the record show that I have nothing against the usual two weeks of vacation within the duration of early springtime. I seriously love vacations, it helps my brain handle everything. I know professors are intelligent, I’m not saying that these people are stupid, but I mean, come on. Let’s think this one out, shall we? I think overall, I have a problem with standardized testing in general. I hate the idea of having to fulfill certain ‘requirements’ within my major in order to receive a diploma. Riddle me this: If I’m trying to major in ENGLISH, why do I need to learn a different language? Or study mathematics? I mean, yes, it’s incredibly handy at times, but I can figure out balancing a checkbook out on my own. It’s hard enough when your studying your own native tongue, I don’t need to throw a different language in as well. Not only that, but the language i’m trying to focus on is one of the most complex and confusing languages IN THE HISTORY OF LANGUAGES. THESE THINGS ARE DIFFICULT. LET ME STUDY DIFFICULT THINGS. (If you can imagine, smoke is pouring out of my ears right now.)

So, in my opinion, if people want polished work, someone should just grab these individuals by the shoulders and scream the following sentence in their face, just to make DAMN sure they don’t miss it.

“(Insert formal or informal name here.), JUST ASSIGN THINGS IN FEBRUARY. IT’S A SHITTY MONTH WHERE PEOPLE JUST STAY INSIDE. DON’T MAKE PEOPLE DO THINGS INSIDE WHEN IT’S SUNNY.”

I detest February simply because of that reason, by the by. It’s a terrible month that is, as a general rule, wet, cold and gray. So, that all being said, Thank whatever deity you’d like for spring, and for the love of all things sacred and dear, go out in the sun.

Seriously, just spend five minutes out in the sunshine breathing deeply. If you can, go and watch the sunset and listen to The Black Keys

You think I’m kidding? Go! (And then come back and write to me!)

It's waiting.

Note: I want to make said associates so drunk in celebration, that they can’t see the floor. Or, if I try my funkpowers for evil instead of the greater good, even drunk enough to have them forget their names. Fun game, you should try it sometime.